You’re here, reading with a heightened sense of anticipation because you have the same shitty video camera I have, and it stopped working, and you want it to work again, and you believe that after reading this, that will actually happen. It might!
THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
1. Don’t buy it. Get a Flip or whatever else instead. But you probably already have it, and you bought extra batteries and memory cards for it, so you’re fucked.
2. When the camera work(s)(ed), it t(akes)(ook) reasonably good videos, so it’s worth salvaging, considering I can get you there for under five bucks.
3. Kodak fucking BLOWS. Dare I forget to mention this. Unless your camera is under warranty, don’t waste your time with customer service. They will offer you your choice of 15% off a new piece of crap, or direct you to a repair service that costs something like $70+ dollars. They have no concept of customer goodwill, and as you can see will offer you nothing of value for your trouble. And not because the CSR doesn’t feel for you; in fact, they probably do. But the CSRs have no authority to work outside of the script and make you happy with a resolution that makes sense, because Kodak has its head up its ass, which should be obvious at this point since they’re going bankrupt.
4. For some reason, this camera will at some point permanently stop charging the batteries on its own via USB. And because this camera has a firmware “bug” or “feature” or “who the fuck knows why”, once you try to power up the camera with a dead battery, the camera goes into some “fuck you” mode where it will never power on again, even if you happen to put a charged battery in it.
5. Your first goal is to get the batteries charged. There is an easy and cheap solution. Don’t buy the Kodak-branded external battery charger. Fuck ’em. Go to Amazon, spend all of $3 and buy this charger. Plug it into AC power, pop the battery in so the contacts line up, and you’re in business. This thing is kind of janky, and some people have issues with the DC adapter, so don’t use that. Throw that cord in the trash, shove it up your ass, I don’t care what you do, just don’t plug it in. Use wall power. Used in this way, the charger works perfectly.
6. Once you have a charged battery in the camera, and it still won’t power on, do this. Take the usb cable for the camera, and plug one end into the USB/AC adapter plug nugget that came with the camera. If you can’t find the original one, just use an Apple one if you have that lying around from an iPhone or some such device. Plug the other end into the camera, and IMMEDIATELY hold down the power button. This will free the camera from its own catatonic stupidity and it will now work.