Google Quality of Life Index

I wanted to create a snapshot of where we’re at as a society.

I am going to evaluate this as a percentage, by judging the quality of Google search autocomplete suggestions using a common prefix, followed by each letter of the alphabet.

The prefix will be “how to”. How to ____. How to a, how to b, how to c, and so on.

This is a bit subjective by any measure, but if any of the suggestions are of questionable subject matter or illicit in nature, they will count as zero. Otherwise, they will count as one.

The resulting sum of the number of ‘ones’ will be divided by 26 and we will derive a percentage – the Google Quality of Life Index. 100% would be a blissful utopia where the world is overrun by idealistic beacons of happiness; 0% represents total hell on earth.

Today’s GQOL Index: 69%

  • A 1
  • B 0, “how to become a vampire”. At first I thought this was harmless, then I thought again.
  • C 1
  • D 1
  • E 0, “how to eat out a female”; if this had been better worded I award it 1
  • F 1
  • G 1, many want to “get rid of” stretch marks, love handles, and blackheads. That’s good.
  • H 0, folks are looking to hack both Myspace and Facebook
  • I 1, impress a french girl, increase sperm count, and ice skate – all noble
  • J 0, “how to jerk” gets a zero because of the crude mental imagery
  • K 1
  • L 1, most of these are about “losing” and getting healthy
  • M 1, I guess making jello shots is popular, but that’s the worst of it
  • N 1, good kids – not getting pregnant is admirable
  • O 0, i’m judging here, but opening rar and torrent files is typically in the act of piracy
  • P 0, pass a drug test
  • Q 1, quit smoking a variety of things as you might imagine
  • R 0, interestingly the exact opposite of q; roll a number of things
  • S 1, aww, say i love you in french (what is this french obsession?)
  • T 1
  • U 1, unlock an iphone, which i consider noble because I am all done with Apple Nazism
  • V 1, people want to void checks apparently
  • W 1
  • X 1
  • Y 0, I award a zero solely based on “how to yawn”
  • Z 1

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