I owe Audubon another $25

This morning was interesting. Kristen’s car was parked behind my car in the driveway. I was leaving before she was, so I packed up my car, got everything inside situated just so, put my car into reverse, and CRUNCH. Terrific.

Fortunately the crunch was the sound of her license plate and E-Z Pass passing on, and nothing more. Even still, I feel a little rattled. Way to go, dumbass. I end up moving her car out of the way, and onward I go.

I get about halfway to work. I’m buzzing along 101, probably 80mph, and sweeping and swooping in front of me, from out of nowhere, left to right, are 2-3 small black birds. Please don’t, please don’t, please don’t. WACK. One of them hits my windshield so hard it’s almost ridiculous it didn’t explode on impact.

Immediately I look in my rearview, and I see nothing. Nothing at all. Wow. For a moment I think that maybe he shook it off? That would be incredible, but I guess it could happen.

Another second or two later in my mirror, seemingly like a long time, I see a feathery black wad descend from the heavens and land in the breakdown lane. He must have hit the windshield and bounced impossibly high into the air. Immediately I feel like garbage, and even though there was absolutely nothing I could do, all I could think about was May 12th of last year when I killed a bird at the same time of day on almost the exact same stretch of the same road.

Here’s to hoping the day turns around…