I owe Audubon another $25

This morning was interesting. Kristen’s car was parked behind my car in the driveway. I was leaving before she was, so I packed up my car, got everything inside situated just so, put my car into reverse, and CRUNCH. Terrific.

Fortunately the crunch was the sound of her license plate and E-Z Pass passing on, and nothing more. Even still, I feel a little rattled. Way to go, dumbass. I end up moving her car out of the way, and onward I go.

I get about halfway to work. I’m buzzing along 101, probably 80mph, and sweeping and swooping in front of me, from out of nowhere, left to right, are 2-3 small black birds. Please don’t, please don’t, please don’t. WACK. One of them hits my windshield so hard it’s almost ridiculous it didn’t explode on impact.

Immediately I look in my rearview, and I see nothing. Nothing at all. Wow. For a moment I think that maybe he shook it off? That would be incredible, but I guess it could happen.

Another second or two later in my mirror, seemingly like a long time, I see a feathery black wad descend from the heavens and land in the breakdown lane. He must have hit the windshield and bounced impossibly high into the air. Immediately I feel like garbage, and even though there was absolutely nothing I could do, all I could think about was May 12th of last year when I killed a bird at the same time of day on almost the exact same stretch of the same road.

Here’s to hoping the day turns around…

One thought on “I owe Audubon another $25

  1. At least you weren’t the jagoff that murdered a baby fox on the bedford exit on 101. Yesterday it looked like a stuffed animal, today it looked like a pancake.


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