I didn’t get the memo on the whole calling out Strava thing

Well I guess I’m doing it wrong.

I ripped along a section of typically underutilized rail-trail the other night on my ‘cross bike, intent on taking a newly discovered KOM.  Leading up to the virtual start of the segment, I proceeded with a purposeful pace, priming the engine for the effort.

And as fate would have it, I was to end up directly behind a recreational mountain biker, clad in characteristic hi-viz yellow, casually pedaling along the few hundred meters that led up to the start.

I was supposed to yell “STRAVA” and blow his doors off, but I instead yielded behind him, waited for him to turn off the trail, and then dug in extra hard to make up for the few lost seconds of time as I entered the start of the segment.

Minutes later, I encountered a father and his two small kids riding bicycles in the opposite direction.  They were a bit staggered and occupied the full width of the trail.

I was supposed to yell “STRAVA” and nearly collide with one of them or force them off the trail and down an embankment.  Instead I yielded for them, offered a smile, and then dug in extra hard to make up for the few lost seconds of time as I proceeded ahead.

Not long after, I came upon a woman on a mountain bike, who was slowing cautiously as we both approached a dark and precarious underpass.

I was supposed to yell “STRAVA” and completely alienate her as a human being as I ripped past her like she was standing still, flying through the tunnel with my head down.  Instead, I slowed behind her, and she allowed me to proceed ahead while she evaluated whether or not she wanted to ride or walk.  As it turns out, the ground was fairly unpredictable and not easy to navigate, and it required patience, even for an experienced rider.  When I emerged on the other side, I dug in extra hard to make up for the few lost seconds of time.

In the distance, I could see a group of three people riding horses along the trail.

Being so close to the end, I was supposed to to yell “STRAVA” as I dropped the hammer and accelerated through them with reckless abandon, spooking the animals and potentially injuring someone.  Instead I muted my headphones, approached them slowly, and rode past once they verbally acknowledged my presence.

I dug in extra hard and drilled it to make up for the few lost seconds and took the KOM.

So what’s the fucking problem with the rest of you.